Rules of Indian Culture circa 2009 ( as per Ram Sene and the like)

1. Indian men shall at all times scratch or otherwise interact with their gonads, at five minute intervals
2. Indian men shall assume that all women, from the age of 8 months to 80 years, are asking for lewd attention even when they’re just walking by minding their own business. She’s breathing, isn’t she?
3. Public displays of affection – hand holding or couples sitting together in public places – are against Indian culture. What about Khajuraho, you say? D-uh, that’s Public display of lust, silly. Plus that’s in a temple. So PDL in a temple is A-ok.
4. Of course you should slap, kick and otherwise molest any Indian woman who dares to exercise free will and go out to public places. Hang on – some idiot is saying how is that Indian culture, we worship goddesses. Well, the goddess is just sitting inside the mandir, innit, not going out to enjoy herself?
5. Women drinking is just not Indian, traditional texts and ancient recipes for Som Ras be damned. Men drinking – well, of course, that’s ok. It says so in all the traditional texts. We even have ancient recipes for Som Ras.
6. But we are not the Taliban. As long as our women don’t go out of the house, express an opinion or do anything without consulting us, we let them be. We don’t insist on them covering their faces and hair.


chandni said…
also mothers must be the epitome of all values...shou;ld be sacrificing saree wearing meek women!
bird's eye view said…
Dipali - Phew is right!

Chandni - oh yes, absolutely. A nd leave us not forget the Pati is parmeshwar aspect :P
Anonymous said…
Another rule:
Even in the best restaurants and hotels in Delhi (eg Oberoi) male waiters feel entitled to try and chat up female guests if they are without a male companion.
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